Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
