YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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