i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
