everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He did a backflip because drugs
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