What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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