just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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