You made me cry and you don't even care
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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