We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
