I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
