I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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