I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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