I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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