have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can text with my tongue
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
