i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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