i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
