She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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