just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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