Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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