Will you blow on my dice?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
