When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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