this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
