If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Your cock deserves a montage
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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