the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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