I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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