Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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