Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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