trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the day after is always just damage control
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
