i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
