Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis

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(313): I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/f8bv

Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (1010)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors

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(513): I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors http://tfl.nu/2p2o

Replies (25) Good night (2710) Bad night (742)
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(917): View more from New York City

It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.

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(917): It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay. http://tfl.nu/aq98

Replies (14) Good night (595) Bad night (2983)
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(727): View more from Florida

He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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(727): He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass. http://tfl.nu/11ss

Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (4575)
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(956): View more from Texas

im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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(956): im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober. http://tfl.nu/pinp

Replies (10) Good night (2643) Bad night (1039)
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(646): View more from New York

They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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(646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0

Replies (10) Good night (6816) Bad night (1055)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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(856): So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished. http://tfl.nu/vhfi

Replies (4) Good night (3532) Bad night (863)
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(914): View more from New York

The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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(914): The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner" http://tfl.nu/76ix

Replies (11) Good night (5880) Bad night (1987)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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(201): We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong? http://tfl.nu/lzrs

Replies (13) Good night (2855) Bad night (809)
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(516): View more from New York

i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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(516): i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs http://tfl.nu/7d0f

Replies (6) Good night (2569) Bad night (1033)
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(925): View more from California

Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(925): Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life. http://tfl.nu/t7ml

Replies (23) Good night (1299) Bad night (2401)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su

Replies (4) Good night (1850) Bad night (566)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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(203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z

Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (839)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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(605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam

Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (344)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.

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(781): THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD. http://tfl.nu/meda

Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (316)

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