I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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