So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?