Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!