god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only