he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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