the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm experimenting with sincerity
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
