He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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