Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ambien. No doubt about it.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
