i just google imaged poop.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
