Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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