We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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