I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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