i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize