I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
