His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
