He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
