I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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