Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
