Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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