pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
