Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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