I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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