where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Do vagina's smell?
do herpes really smell.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
