I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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