why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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