So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
