This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
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I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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