Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
