Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
