ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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