That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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