in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
